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…perfectly normal…

February 15, 2012

So, this last weekend, at some awards presentation, Matt Bomer, star of White Collar and utterly gorgeous man, won an award. I believe the award was for his work fighting HIV/AIDs…but I’m really not sure because all of the media attention has been given not to the award or the reasons that he won, but to his acceptance speech.

See, in his acceptance speech, he mentioned his family. By name.

Had this been any “normal” person this would hardly have garnered this much attention. However, Matt’s family includes his partner Simon and their three children. Suddenly, the award is all but forgotten in the frenzy of Mr. Bomer confirming for the first time publicly that he is gay.

Now, he’s been coy about his sexuality in his past, kept his private business private. There has, of course, been speculation, but he’s been pretty good at keeping his relationship out of the spotlight. In the couple of days since this award, I have learned more about this private relationship than I know about some of the people I work with.

What strikes me here is that Mr. Bomer made his acceptance, thanked his family, as if it was the perfectly normal thing to do. WHICH IT IS. It’s the media that blows it out of proportion, makes it seem like he’s suddenly “come out” as if it was some political decision on his part and not just a man thanking the people he loves.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Coming out is a big thing. It can be stressful and hard and even dangerous in the wrong situations. However, it is all of that because we make it that way. Here’s a man just doing something perfectly normal, but we have to blow it up, make it more than it is, point fingers and talk endlessly about it.

More coming out moments should be like his was…simple statements of love expressed as a normal part of a normal day, a normal act of affection bestowed upon the person we love.

There are those who argue that gay people throw their “lifestyle” in the faces of everyone around them, and when we blow something like this so out of proportion, they aren’t wrong. Until we behave as if it’s normal, how can we expect anyone else to?

Kudos to you, Mr. Bomer, and to your beautiful family. May you have years and years of happiness with your partner and your children. May life bless you all. May you be perfectly normal (aside from the ridiculously gorgeousness of you…that just isn’t normal), just like the rest of couples who live and love and raise a family…and may the rest of us figure out how to mind our own damn business.

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