… a refresher on an old topic…
As I prep for my trip overseas, I’m reminded that I will be subjecting myself to some very crowded situations without my usual buffer of people who know me and can help me manage my agoraphobia issues.
In any situation where there are twenty or more people, I will be uncomfortable, and depending on the situation and the location, panic can overtake me.
Mind you, I’m a big girl and I do everything I know how to minimize the effects, and I attempt to not impact those around me as much as possible.
But, that doesn’t mean that those around me can’t help out. Not crowding me is a good start. I’m a hugger and a toucher, but sometimes, if I’m edging close to panic, I can’t do either. Let me approach you for those things when there are a lot of people around.
Asking if I’m okay is fine, but sometimes my only response will be to hold up my hand. This usually means that I’m trying very hard to get it under control, and wasting my energy trying to communicate with you will not be helpful. Give me a minute, I will usually find you once I’ve got it together and let you know I’m okay.
Some people think they can distract me to make it better, but distractions interrupt my concentration, make it easier for the sound and heat and push of the crowd to filter past my lock down.
There will come a point when I pick a direction and stare, doing everything I can not to look around me. If you want to talk to me, slip into my peripheral vision to do so. Don’t get in front of me, you will have taken away my “escape route”.
All of that said though, I’m coming armed with pharmaceutical help and a desire for a good time, and a sincere hope that the excitement outweighs the fear.
Seven days, and counting!